cheesyt6 - 10months in and W is still far away..

[fightin]

Cheeeeeesyyyyyyt! Just checking in and catching up.

I'm so glad you had an amazing trip, that is so important to be taking time for yourself! Congrats on being an auntie again. As rough as it is to go through all of these things without your wife that you once shared with her I hope it is also empowering that you know you CAN get through it without her.

As for the meds, I can't stress enough how important I personally find it to take my meds consistently. I feel it has helped me a lot. Before BD I had been off my meds for nearly a year. I feel they probably helped save my life (literally) during the D process. The whole "numbing feelings" thing is a reason I got off of them to begin with, however, I have come to think about it like this:

I needed the meds before D, I have a chemical imbalance and that does NOT make me weak. I have learned to equate it to my thyroid not functioning properly and needing meds to regulate that. My brain is not functioning properly and the meds help regulate it. I don't know if you were on them before BD, but if so that might be a good way for you to look at it too. If not, then at least look at the meds as a way to help you get through a particularly rough time in your life and that once you're on the road to being fully healed you can address coming off of them. Taking antidepressants is a pretty personal decision though, so whatever you decide is of course up to you. Just thought I'd share some of my own struggles and thoughts from my own experience.

I hope you're doing well. Keep being awesome!