WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[Matrix]

Blu,

My only real thread on here was when I first joined and I was asking the group if I should confront my WW about her PA. I got a lot of different opinions and decided to wait it out because I was not in a position emotionally to confront her.

I never really had a thread detailing my sitch or my day-to-day journey. I mostly read and comment on other people's threads.

My story is very, very long and would take pages and pages to tell. I find most of the help for me here through other stories that I can relate with.

I just wanted to share what I posted with you, because I have been there. I was so full of anger and resentment, that my W eventually wore down. She did everything in her power to save us after her A and I just didn't know how to heal. I buried my head and hid in a dark place for many years. The sad thing now is that I know how to heal and forgive. I have learned so much here and from reading so many other books. It is like a light went off and I now see how I could have saved my M and now she seems to be very far gone. My sitch has improved somewhat in the last few months, but still nothing to report as a possible starting point of any kind of R.

Anyway, I am happy that some of my words resonated with you and I really want you to understand that remorseful, former WAS will eventually wear down and simply won't be able to live with being punished for the rest of their life. They will eventually forgive themselves and will not continue to wait around for you to forgive them as well.

Some advice that I would like to offer and have you try is this:

Every time you get angry or feel resentment start to build or stare at him across the room and want to tear his eyeballs out or start to trigger about the OW, I would like you to try and "love" him through it. Go over to him, wrap your arms around him and tell him that you love him and that you are glad he is your husband. Even if you might be seething mad inside, just make yourself do something loving for him right in that moment. Try this for a few weeks or even a month and see how you feel then. Creating these loving habits can sometimes lead to new and real feelings and those new feelings can get you to a new place of real love and real forgiveness.

Take care.