WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[25yearsmlc]

Blu,

This is so utterly profound "Sometimes I even miss the hurt and anger because it's safe. It's powerful. This is unknown and uncomfortable."

Remember Gertrude Stein's words, "“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”

Yes, pain is real and visceral and understandable. Numbness and nothingness are just a void. What can you do to transform that void into something real?

I am reading this thread over. Not sure how I missed this^^^ but I'm sitting with it.

Good reflective thread.

Here's a weird thought and no hijack intended...

when the part of me that admits I STILL want things to work out, the other parts of me, which is almost all of the cognitive parts (i.e. my head)

I feel disgusted with myself. Very shocked the "real 25" would put up with any of it and not just give the finger and run, never turning back.

I think it's like those gamblers who have lost a bunch of money and yet still play a high risk game instead of walking away...

they must think they can somehow make up for the money they already lost, by making it ALL back....

but in reality they just keep playing the same game - with very low odds of winning.

But walking away without hope of getting their money back, means way way too much has been lost forever.

Something to discuss in T and work on.