What a great post! I have been struggling with both of these issues and have heard conflicting answers. Just the other day I decided that I want to work on my marriage regardless of whether there was a PA with my H and a coworker. I don't believe it's ongoing, more like an EA that might have gotten out of hand. I took my ring off for a day or so prior to this decision, but every time I looked down I felt awful. I also was worried that a co-worker or family member would ask why it wasn't on and I am not ready to explain to the world my present situation.
Incidently, I spoke with my H a few minutes ago and did not ask question after question about the OW, speak about OR, or grovel. I told him how busy I am with school and work and the dog and going out with my friends. He told me that I sounded great and he was so happy about that. He also suggested that we have lunch next week and maybe see me this weekend. It feels much better than my begging him to tell me if he slept with the OW, all the details of their relationship if he didn't, etc. I truly feel good about us working things out..
