I was told by attorney that she did not think judge would mandate drug tests, because I had no other proof. I have never seen STBX inebriated in any way. (he simply was not around) and the missing money could be attributed to prostitution or gambling (which i doubt) etc.
I am also not looking to deprive ex of visitation with son. My son adores his father and the more they see each other, the better for both of them. Ex will be more willing to help son out financially if he is part of his life. He might have more of an incentive to work torwards sobriety (if it is in fact a drug issue) for his son. Son needs special memories with his dad. He deserves some sort of relationship with him and right now STBX is capable of something. Who knows about the future.
I do not want to be punitive. I do not want to humiliate or embarrass ex. But I do want to know son is safe. Ex has agreed that all overnights would have his mom present. From what I gather through son, my ex MIL does most of the care taking and STBX takes him on outings.
BUT IS THIS ENOUGH? If its a drug issue, I know it will go downhill. What do I need in place for the future? I am talking to social workers and drug counselors and my lawyers and none of them seem to really have an answer for me.
Some people tell me to try to get back that depletion of marital assets. Im up and down about it.
Im up and down about STBX. Drug addiction is a disease. Its physiological. Some times i view him as this villain that took away resources from a child, and severely psychologically abused me through gaslighting, blame, deflection, and irrationality. Other times I view him as someone that is diagnosed with AIDS or Alzheimers. Was he always this narcissitic or was it drugs? I dont know who he really was either.
