I thought I'd post last nite's weird stuff separately so it wouldnt be such a long post. I'm sure interested in knowing what anyone thinks about this, and how I handled it/should have handled it.
Last night, H invited me to go for a walk, so I hurried and threw dinner in the oven and went out to help w/chores and we left to walk for an hour....got home to find that I forgot to turn the oven on....duh. So, that really threw our schedule off & I threw some burgers on the stove. I made a comment about it being a dumb-s--t move and that he must think I was one. I had gone over to hug him then and he said "I don't think you're a dumbs--t, I think you're incredibly bright and very manipulative and you know exactly what you're doing"???????now what the heck does that mean? I was blown away by it....I said something about "if I know exactly what I'm doing, why do I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark all the time?" I think he said something about "you know what you're doing"....I was so blown away, I just walked away and went into the kitchen and started doing stuff. WHAT would he have meant by this???? I don't know what H thought was manipulative....and what I'm doing that I know....????I'm clueless.
A little bit after I went into the kitchen, H came in, and we wound up hugging, and I said I felt kind of hurt earlier when he said I was being manipulative and didn't know what he was talking about"; H said "you're going back to your old ways...you didnt help with the chores much this weekend (H told me to stay in bed in the mornings & he'd do them???) and you said you'd be back soon and then when on a long shopping trip, and you went shopping (actually I was gone about 2 hours longer than I intended, and I did by a couple of jackets & tops for all the stuff going on this month...I've not done that since the bomb, I don't think). I apologized for getting home late, but H did seem kind of miffed at the time. I guess I would be wild if he was 2 hours late getting home, I hadn't thought of that... H called me OD for "Old Deb" ....It seemed like an incredibly cheeseless tunnel to go down, so I didnt say much, I think I may have apologized again, and told him I had no intention of being OD.....H went to lift weights, came back an hour later and sat at the table...I'd been cleaning the kitchen while he was gone and was still at it...he sat quietly at the table for a few minutes and then said "I guess I may as well go to bed....you're still piddling around and there won't be any time for anything.....I said "hey, in that case I'm done, because I've been wanting to play" and dropped what I was doing...went up to bed, H was horny to put it bluntly, actually came around the bed and grabbed me.....It was great and I told him how muched I liked it, and he said "oh, I think you'd like it with anybody anymore"??????
This AM when his darn alarm went off at 5:15 it woke me up, and I told him good morning and rubbed his shoulders and told him that I have a fantasy that someday instead of getting up (I know he goes & calls OW) he'll just roll over and hold me and stay there to snuggle...he actually said "I will".?????? The rest of the morning was really rushed getting around to get into staff meeting, but exchanged a few quick hugs & kisses & ILY's....havent seen him or heard from him this AM at work.
Does anybody have any clue what to make of any of this? I am totally clueless....and don't know how to respond. I do know I was right not to "over react" because there was a spark there that could have been easily fanned into a big flame.... I don't have a clue what he sees as manipulative...I've worked really hard to do what is within my power to take away his reasons for leaving, maybe he knows/sees that. Maybe/more likely OW knows/sees that and is pointing it out to him????? maybe it's working? What do you all think? How do I proceed?
There it is again, the Twilight Zone theme song............
....It seemed like an incredibly cheeseless tunnel to go down, so I didnt say much, I think I may have apologized again, and told him I had no intention of being OD.....H went to lift weights, came back an hour later and sat at the table...I'd been cleaning the kitchen while he was gone and was still at it...he sat quietly at the table for a few minutes and then said "I guess I may as well go to bed....you're still piddling around and there won't be any time for anything.....I said "hey, in that case I'm done, because I've been wanting to play" and dropped what I was doing...went up to bed, H was horny to put it bluntly, actually came around the bed and grabbed me.....It was great and I told him how muched I liked it, and he said "oh, I think you'd like it with anybody anymore"??????
