Leaving it up to God (I think!)

[Coly23]

Thanks Altair and Job.

Altair - that's interesting that you are finding out some little tidbits about what is gong on with your H. Why is his Mum mad at him?

Job - I actually felt sick before I was to meet up with H but afterwards I was quite happy with the way it went. I was very proud that I didn't try to arrange to meet up again which a few months, even weeks ago, I would have done! Do you think he is still in replay?

This meeting has helped me feel a little more confident in that his unhappiness isn't all about me. Also, because I was a mess at the start I haven't been socialising with his friends so I just assumed they were all seeing each other as before and having a fabulous time without me! It's amazing how much stuff you can make up in your head!

Another thing which I thought was strange, and I don't want to analyse too much, was when we were in the coffee shop he was buying and I went to find a seat as it was quite busy. I managed to find a small round table in the window with three seats but it was squashed between two larger tables. There were two seats in the window and one seat facing the window. Because it was quite a tight squeeze to get to the two seats in the window I took one of those seats intending for H to have the seat on the opposite side. However when he brought the drinks he squeezed himself through and sat in the seat next to me in the window. Why this is significant for me is that whenever he used to come over he always sat in the chair furthest away from me. In the coffee shop today our knees were literally touching and he didn't flinch!

I guess it's back to going NC again unless he contacts me. I'm not going to bother to send him D's exam timetable. It's just a strange request, like he wants everyone to see what a great step-dad he is. I don't feel like being his PA. I'm sure he can find the information himself if he really wanted it...