I wouldn't even address the attitude as long as your still db'ing. If your ready to move on from this point whether it's the BD or reconciliation. That should determine your next move. You mentioned that she was a cake eater, so that right there means that it's time for her make real decision. If your good with possibly her choosing a BD, then go with it if your ready to move on. But if your not ready for that, then take your time. Perhaps time will help her realize that she wants the MR over the OM. Have the feeling I'll have to make the same choices with my W in the next few months.
