thought I'd just post a little to update....H is such a confusing person....He's been pulling back, feeling smothered, so I carefully and purposefullylly took about 2 giant steps back for the last week or so, toned things down a little emotionally, and now guess what?.....he's all smoochy and huggy again....in the space of about 36 hours...go figure.
yesterday I got home from work about noon, and just said "hi", some small talk, started fixing lunch....about 1:30 went up to change clothes, H was sorting laundry, and said "what, you're just going to change"...so of course I was up to the challenge....anyway, it turns out he wasnt as up to the challenge, so he did great things just for me , and it was really great...weird though because I don't recall he's ever done this before...Kind of worried me, then I remembered Michele's reference to "true giving" and decided to view it as such. I was so blown away, I decided to take a nap for about an hour...H had gotten up. Then he came back in the room and turned off the phone ringer, saying he'd turned it on expecting to hear from D the other eve, and didn't want a telemarketer to disturb my nap. Of course I'm betting my money that he was going to call OW to call him back and didn't want me hearing & answering the phone. I thought that at the time, but just told him thanks, and dismissed it, If he's gonna talk to her he is, and I was too contented to give up my good nap worrying about it. I guess that's progress for me to be able to look at it that way.

This morning H was working on a job app. to go with his resume, and we were discussing what should be included in a cover letter, and H said "I'm not interested in moving" I took that as a big ...I can't believe he would say such a thing if he was going to leave & go w/OW. In fact, for this job it would up his chances probably if he was living w/OW because she lives within that agency's service area and we don't. I'm hoping this is another instance of "listening between the lines" being accurate. It has been in the past however.
Then there were some romantic hugs and kisses this Am, the kind that make my knees week. I don't know for sure who initiated, but H sure responded in kind, and of course I did....as he was leaving to go to work (as always, I hope!) we exchanged one, and I sighed and said "I don't know, this makes you so hard to resist I'm not sure I can do it the rest of the weekend" and he said "we'll have to find some more "special time", and I asked (probably shouldnt have) "you want to?" and he said "sure"....seems like a turn around. I swear the guy is so hard to predict....I'm sure I hear the twilight zone theme song playing in the background.
AND, my life gets more challenging. I'm at the office doing some catch-up stuff and found an e-mail that I have to do a presentation at the stomach turning staff meeting on Tuesday. Here I've been feeling so proud of myself to even handle being in the same room w/H & OW at those meetings, now I gotta present. O well, at least it's a really short one. I sure need every one's prayers, though.


been around awhile!