Its been almost 2 weeks since I realized what the core problem was. It was only through financial disclosure that I figured it out. He had over 50 grand per year of unexplained money being pulled out from ATMS in really nasty neighborhoods. In addition to credit card debt and withdrawing large sums from his IRA. In addition to a decent amount of money being spent per month at liquor stores on his credit card.
For years, he was so evasive. Especially regarding finances. He was always disappearing, and always in the bathroom. Weird things that I look back on now as well. Like he knew A LOT more about pharmacology then your average person. He could not wake up in the mornings with alarms blasting for 2 hours (i am not exaggerating) He missed picking son up from preschool because of this. Certain physical issues and ailments. He had a group of friends that I never saw, that I knew were into bad drugs I just assumed he outgrew them.
Now, I still have no actual proof. He refused a drug test. Husband was never around for me to see any behaviors that would indicate drug use. He was awake all night, and constantly gone. There is a chance that he was taking money out and just hiding it. But why from the bad neighborhoods completely out of the way? Why withdrawals of cash every single day? If he is using, he is very high functioning. I was told by a drug counselor/social worker that that is very common of opiate users.
I came on here as Julieh in summer of 2015 not really understanding what was going on. He shared all the symptoms of every other walk away spouse on here.
The only difference, is that many posters on here talked about a great love and friendship and relationship that they missed. And I never felt that. I felt like my marriage was always void of a partner. Like I was begging for team mate and he just wasnt around.
