WOW,this is all such great advice and it is coming at a great time. I need it plus the support. We had a fight last night, I snapped, and we didn't say anything to eachother this morning.
I was waiting to see if he was coming over. I asked straight out. I'll spare the details. But he got cold and shady with me again and I called him out on it and he pretended like he wasn't being. I finally said "whatever, goodnight" at 5pm. he said "night" and I didn't hear from him at all. I swore to myself I wouldn't reach out but I did this morning because he works the FH and I hate to be arguing when he is on his dangerous job. I pretty much said that and like I always do, I told him to have a good day and be safe. He said "thank you and you have a good day with your friends" He is not so happy about me going out with them which is another long story. But I don't give a crap. Like the temp testing jerk I am I said "miss you" and he said "miss you too" which was early this morning. Haven't hear boo since and he always keeps in contact.
So I am taking all my willpower to not chase. We witched to me being the pursuer, and I always am. If I have learned anything from my marriage and R's is that I need to stop. I can't make someone like me or want to be with me. I'm too old and tired for these games. So, if he cares, he could come after me. I'm not doing it this time. I need to stay strong. I want to reach out, temp check, see where we are, but I expressed my concerns to him, he hasn't addressed them and he's cold. He could either break up with me or he could show me he wants to keep dating me and getting to know me.
KML, I will not be readily available. He always kind of assumed we would spend time together unless we made actual plans with someone else, but now he is keeping me on the backburner. Nah, won't do that. I have cut back time together with my D to once a week.
Today will tell a lot. I am going to sit on my hands and not text. I'm sure before I go out I'll want to, but if he wants to talk to me, the phone goes both ways.
I'm DBing 3 months in which isn't good. I was never good at DBing when I was married.
I keep reminding myself of my worth and another failed relationship isn't a reflection on me. I'll be fine again alone if that's what it will come to. I miss the guy I met. The attentive sweetie. The one who gave a crap. I miss him. But if it's him, then maybe I missing a lie yet again.
