I think I have started to make or am making progress in detaching, however....this morning I found my post I'd printed from March 6 when I was absolutely nuts about confronting H about going to OW's w/polaroid....(which I believe was mistaken on my part, oops, big time oops)...I felt so oddly unemotional and distanced from it, kind of like "why was I ever so upset about that?"....however, I recall clearly that what set me up and drove me over the edge was an email I found from OW to H saying how she'd loved celebrating his b-day in his office with him (march 4) and how if you have to work to hard on a relationship it isn't right/meant to be, and how awstruck she was to be chosen as his partner, and how she couldnt take off work on May 21 (her b-day, as I discovered yesterday).
It just strikes me as so odd that I can remember so clearly the exact email that brought all this up, yet it does feel like so much wasted energy as I look back.....one of these days, when I have plenty of ink and paper! I'm going to print off my old threads and flip back through them to see how things have progressed.
For today, I'm considering how to sweep out the egg shells and the pros and cons of our life together, as in the last post that I "swiped"....I'm also finishing planting flowers and going to have fun watching a movie tonight.... I also think I'm going to initiate a discussion with H...not about R or OW, but about what "turns him on". I don't seem to be very good at guessing. myabe I'll bring it up at lunch today and see what happens!
