I found this in Hoping for 2nd Chances "reconstruction" thread , and felt so strongly I needed it that I copied it here...Hope you don't mind Quote: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I read somewhere a very simple line that went something like, "I can not live my life auditioning for someone's love." That simple sentence hit me like a bolt of lightening because I realized that my walking on egg shells was exactly that, "auditioning" for my H's love. In that moment of realization I became furious with myself and ashamed of my own pathetic behavior.
There I was, a reasonably successful, professional woman, attractive, well respected by my peers, educated and engaged with the 'outside world,' and yet, the minute I stepped over the threshold of my home I turned into a simpering, frightened child. I realized that I WASN'T living, I was existing in the hope that I could regain my H's love. I sat that night and weighed all the pros and cons of our life together and his betrayal and in a flash I was finally at peace and a sense of calm resolve over took me. In that instant I had decided that my life was far to valuable to allow myself to live in the shadow of my H's self indulgences any longer.
I immediatelly regained my strength of character, my commitment to take back control of my own happiness and promised myself that I would NEVER allow MY life to come second to anyone ever again.
From that day forward I spoke my mind, I swept up all the egg shells in my house and never walked on them again. I set immoveable boundaries for myself and under no condition am I ever going to be willing to allow anyone to ever cross them on me again.
Once I regained my sense of self and dignity again my H suddenly began to start walking the talk of a remorseful and humbled man.
The result has been that my H and I are now enjoying our life together. We have learned a new level of respect for each other, a new and better way of confronting our issues respectfully and calmly and our house hasn't been this peaceful in years.
Take back control of your life Allii, and with it, may very well come your H, and THAT is my wish for YOU. T2
T2--love this!! Found it under newcomers and wanted it for me. "auditioning" is an interesting way to look at at it...maybe that's what I've been doing and H could care less...says "bring on the next one" I'm still not happy.
Hope--that he can blame anybody else but himself is funny in a way...I mean look at all the things he's done in his life. His brother working on his own yard, rather than help out his parents--where by the way there were more than enough people helping out--yet H thinks it okay to walk out on his family for an OW?
I don't know what it's going to take H either to realize that everything he's looking for is there--inside of him.
