when I did consider having an A 20+ years ago, (I justified it for several reasons beyond the scope of the point I want to make.)
The image of my h and children crying and knowing I was ending the m - let alone for OM, killed me.
I changed course, met with a chaplain and saw a shrink and talked to MY closest loved ones ... And avoided the A.
If h had found out how close I had come and had tried to shame me, I would probably have left him.
Note at the time I felt justified in (nearly) having an A.
But the image of my children feeling sad or visualizing my h being sad (I was very much in love with him but very lonely)
those images stopped me.
So the shame tactic would have ended the marriage,
whereas the idea of my h/kids seeing me as the type of woman to have an A, stopped the A from happening.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
