So, every now and again, my partner notices me reading on this site on my phone. I dont tend to post much using my phone because it's a pain, but I do find it interesting to read.
Weve had several discussions now about what we want out of the future, and while I expect that we will get married, I am still somewhat more of the 'jaded' one. While I am hearing things like "Ill never cheat on you" or "I dont see why we wouldnt be together forever", in my head, I feel that those absolutes are not so meaningful. Having gone through it once before after hearing those kinds of words, it's difficult to believe it 100%. Do I think we'll be together in 20 years? Sure! But Ive lost that ability to love 'innocently'.
Circling back around, my partner is worried that reading and posting on here helps to reinforce that belief. That hearing all of the sad stories posted in the Newcomers section taints my opinions on love and relationship. That being here is somehow hurting my ability to be 100% "in" our relationship.
Ive given that some thought over the past several months as to why I still read and post. I find there are three main reasons that I think there is still value for me to be here: 1) I gained so much from the posters here over the years. I feel like I want to share that knowledge. Nothing makes me happier than seeing people Ive helped experience positive results in their relationship or their life.
2) I know that Im continuing to learn about myself and about relationships. Even though I dont really post much about my detailed goings-on, I still read and write and it helps to reinforce my beliefs.
3) It helps remind me of where Ive been and helps to make the changes that I made 'stick'.
Sometimes I wonder if it may be better to step away and stop investing myself in all of these "stories". I figure that when it's the right time for me to step away, Ill know.
