I want to say that I didnt mean to offend you earlier, if I did. My point was not to call you out for having these opinions and saying it's a terrible thing. I get that there is sometimes a need to vent, especially when we hear or read things that are untrue, exaggerated or just cruel from the WS. This IS a safe place to do it, and I, for one, am not judging you one way or another.
My point was more to you to have a chance to reflect on the words. You said:
Originally Posted By: Tread
I'm not going to around telling my W that she lucky to have me, because nobody else wants an overweight woman.
If theres one thing Ive learned, it isnt about words, it's about actions. If you THINK that shes lucky to have you or if you ACT like you arent attracted to her, it makes you seem self-righteous, arrogant, entitles, or any other number of adjectives. If she can sense these opinions in you (even non-verbally), then it could lead her to feel or act any other number of ways.
Im not saying it's your fault for the affair. Thats on her and her choices. What I am saying is that if she felt less attractive or something, it could have been an atmosphere where she sought that attention or desire from whoever.
This is a place to learn and grow. One other thing Ive learned is that if someone says something that stings, you should take that opportunity to look at why. Usually it's because theres some truth to it.
