Yes I believe my W is very confused, this has been mentioned by MIL and mutual friends. I even had a mutual friend tell me this week that he feels W is on the verge of a nervous/stress breakdown.
It took about 8 months of up and down to really accept and push on with things (I was also suffering from burn out after spending 2 years building our house). I think what also made longer for me is I took on hurt on behalf of my kids to see their mother so disconnected.
Getting out, meeting different people, joining different groups on Meetup etc is where it all helped. I have read so much over the past year but it only works if you put that stuff into action.
I think now, I still have that missing feeling but it's more the companionship than my W. As is said here, we can take our share and work on that and that's what I have done. I'm not afraid of losing her, there are other fish in the sea. As you get to that point, you will notice it happening without that feeling of acting as if. I have taken back control of myself, although that has caused the games and s*** from W to escalate... however I see it more and don't have that need to respond or react.
In terms of welcoming her back..... to be honest, I don't think I would. The work she would need to do on herself and the work she would need to do together, I just don't believe she has that drive or desire to better herself even for a greater good. I will always love my W but right now I don't believe in her. In a lot of ways, I would rather find someone that understands the give and take of a relationship than be with someone that is only about themselves.
