Flotsam

[25yearsmlc]

this hits home.

I've heard things my kids have told h that are not "supportive" of his new found happiness.

H says he is going to a T, which would be the first time he's ever gone as an Individual (actually for all I know, he's going with OW...)

Anyhow, here are a few random thoughts on "what if?"

at least in my situation,

h would have to have a seismic change within, to see that he has inflicted tremendous damage and pain on the 4 people who loved him the most.

He'd have to see it AND regret it deeply AND communicate that in a way other than a "sincere but really short all is well NOW, right?" way

and humbling himself is not a skill he has. (Humbling himself privately - not to grovel for ME or the kids - but in facing the damage he has caused IS humbling to a normal person)


Then add in the work they'd have to do to earn your desire to work on things

AND to ever trust them again AND to ever really give yourself fully as you once did.

And the odds get smaller...

I wish I had pieced better with h after we recon.
His mom got cancer and we shelved it and never really went back to h's underlying issues

so here we are