Lurker ready to ask for help with WW/WAW sitch!

[RunRec]

Thanks Cristy! I don't know that I can afford to do phone coaching at this time, but thanks.

Things continue to be hot and cold. We had a very emotional MC session on Tuesday morning, but a good talk about it Tuesday night. Wednesday we took our sons out to dinner for my youngest boy's birthday and we had a really fun time. W took a bunch of pictures, posted them to Facebook, and then tagged me in the album (which was a surprise).

Later that night we had our marriage ministry introductory class. She seemed very positive and in a good mood to begin the class, but by the end she was obviously not. The last thing we were supposed to do was fill out an informational card and the last thing we were supposed to do is rate our marriage between 1-10. She didn't want to rate our marriage, and unfortunately I pushed her to do it so she finally just rated it a 1. The rest of the evening she was obviously upset, but in a 180 I just let it go and pretended like everything was ok.

I'm frustrated because what I should have done is supported her and said if she didn't want to rate it don't rate it, but I really want to get the most out of counseling and marriage ministry so I wanted her to do it. It was controlling, and probably set me back some.

Otherwise I'm just working on detaching, which works sometimes and doesn't work other times. I wish I could bottle it up when I feel truly detached from the outcome, and just take a sip every time anxiety takes over. I continue to keeep a PMA and remind myself that I'm at the very beginning of this journey, not to believe anything I hear and 50% of what I see, and that while it's easy for me to feel sorry for myself that things aren't progressing on my time I have many things to be grateful for. She's interacting with me positively on a daily basis. She's going to counseling. She's going to marriage ministry. I have read stories of worse off relationships being restored, so I consider myself blessed to have these tools at my disposal. I just have to continue to pray, work on myself, and keep that PMA and hope for the best.