WW in PA: Threaten to tell kids? Confront OM?

[hoosjim]

Thanks again, Sandi. That's exactly what I was thinking about her wayward BFF, who has been an enabler for alot of this-- "nights out" with her have been cover for W to take "side trips" to see the OM on more than one occasion.

Right now just going to have to ride it out for a bit. Try to avoid any in depth MR discussions. She WAS pretty disturbed by the idea of the kids "knowing the truth". She was like "Even if I didn't agree to cut contact and said I was going to continue contact with OM and ultimately went off with him, why would you ever want kids to know anything more than that you and I were unhappy and agreed to split up... anything else would just be to hurt me and them. I would think you'd want everyone to be happy." I deflected this by saying we weren't talking about splitting up and telling the kids right now, but I was curious if, even though I did not intend to go around exposing her to anyone, she expected me to lie to cover for her if asked. She sort of had a noncommittal answer about that, but I was able to move the conversation past that issue. For now, it's not an issue because we are not splitting, but I do want the thoughts of deceiving her children in her head, even as I don't necessarily want her thinking I am trying to shame her in to coming back.