JuJU, thank you, especially for the compliments. My self-esteem is taking a little hit lately. I don't know what's happened to me. Am I super picky? Am I wanting things in an R that aren't actually possible? If this doesn't work, I am going to take a bit of a fall for a while, but I always get back up somehow.
We had a fight yesterday. I won't get into the details but he accused me of inviting him out with my friends only when I know he can't come. Which is not true, but I told him I understood that was his perception. Which kind of went into I want him to be a part of my life but lately he's been so distant, I just don't even know where we stand sometimes. He was a little taken a back and said he was going to take that all in.
We were find for the rest of the day, he was working, he was super busy but we texted and he called before bed. he said he was sick all day because of the amount of stress he is in.
Truth is, he is far less affectionate. he no longer kisses me hello. he still kisses me, holds hands, but a lot of the sweetness he had is gone. he used to tell me he misses me multiple times a day. He will always respond to mine, but rarely initates anything like that on his own. he does cuddle with me, he isn't that distant, just different. I am the one he vents to about work, his sisters situation, I am always there and probably overly supportive. But right now I am not getting much in return and it makes me feel not so good.
The big change came when the work season really started. It does coorelate to his stress (which he doesn't handle all that well) But it is still affecting me. I don't know that he cares. Or maybe he just doesn't have the energy too right now or the capcity to give me much.
Which I can handle if I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel and he provided me reassurance that he cares or even lets me know he appreciates my support.
That was a big vent. Things were going so well until this whole work thing started. There was a big change. I can only hope there is an end.
He's coming over and staying over tonight. I hope he checks some of his stress at the door and maybe tries to have a good time with me.
