Dealing with Devastation

[giftd]

Called her tonight to verify she would be able to stay on Friday to take care of animals while I'm gone. She said she would be able to and then said she was on a call on the other line and would call me back.

I got angry. Don't know why. After hanging up the phone I just got overwhelmed and sooooo frustrated with where things are. Talked to a friend who pointed out that from the lowest point we've come a long way and that all the work I've done on myself will pay off. It didn't make me feel any better because I know how far I've come but I'm still here alone waiting to work on the relationship. I'm continuing to read books but at this point other than trying new things the books I'm reading mostly verify that I've put the work in I needed to.

As I reached boiling point she called back (an hour later). I instantly came out of it. Put on my upbeat self and genuinely enjoyed the conversation. It was only 15 minutes but after what was really a long tedious day it was what I needed.

Finals are now over I can get some sleep and get the house cleaned up again. Going to try to use this feeling to carry over into the weekend where I'll try to have fun in Vegas. Next planned contact is Sunday where after talking it over with several people I'm going to try to see if she's ready for counseling together. She mentioned today that in 2 weeks she will regularly have half a day off again (it's so stupid I'm excited she gets 0.5 days off a week instead of 0). I'd like to get into counseling before the house is sold and I have to move, the separation of the animals and the general house stuff is something I'm not looking forward too.