Quote: I think my biggest stumbling block is also dealing with doubts about the truth of what he says....it makes it so difficult, but the doubts come from the fact that he's fed me such "whoppers" before when I trusted him....although I will say my instincts said he was lying before and I didnt want to listen to them, now they arent as "insistent", they are just more "cautious". It's so hard to be cool, calm and collected when you've trusted some one you love with all your heart and had it all thrown in your face before.
Well...I'm certainly familiar with what you are saying...and I've spent much time in the last 1.5 years trying to work thru trust, forgiveness, etc. some days are better than others...
You could ask yourself (a la Michele) "what's different about the times when I am more trusting of him" or even "what's different about the times when NOT KNOWING feels OK to me?"....you may find some surprising answers...that keeping yourself busy helps, or exercising, or being with friends more, or whatever. It may be about realizing that NO MATTER WHAT...you will still have to take a leap because it's true that you will never know FOR SURE what's going on.
Here's an article on trust that I find interesting:
The website www.soundstrue.com is a great place to look at audio books re. meditation. Jack Kornfield is my favorite...with Pema Chodron a close second. I often find their stuff on ebay.
