And yes I get it about dropping the rope. It is one of those things that is easier said than done. I'm doing this piece-by-piece. It is hard to unwind 25+ years of devotion to a spouse even in the face of such bitter betrayal. I can see though it is what she deserves now.
Do you really? It doesn't mean you try to force yourself to stop loving her. It means you let go of her. In order to do so, it requires you to cut your codepency on her. You stop trying to control the situation with her. You do not have to divorce in order to emotionally drop the rope. You focus on making a life for yourself.
Funny things about wives, they can tell when you are "gone". Dropping the rope can be effective.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
