25 yearsMLC 10 years late I FILE part 2

[Sotto]

Hi 25 - firstly (((((hugs))))) to you and I'm sorry things are rough right now.

Realising the process of some D's, I was pretty lucky that XH was reasonably cooperative and didn't do any significant stuff during the D process. Maybe there was some guilt - IDK - but for sure I am financially comfortable merely by quietly holding my ground on some key areas..

I agree that older kids will form a view of the behaviour anyhow. My SS for example recently said - Well I love my Dad because he's my Dad - but he's such a moron sometimes etc..respect is lost and it does matter in that R long term. It's a shame.

Interesting that your H acts out around the milestone birthdays...and interesting the choice of GF - an aesthetician. For my XH, it was someone closer in age to his S than to him....so...

As for dating - I'm almost a year past D and haven't yet dated. I have no regrets about that, and I would always encourage getting through the maelstrom of the D process and letting the dust and you settle before thinking about that. In the meantime, lovely nourishing things, new activities and deepening friendships bring bright spots of joy too..

I'm sorry your H is being as he is during this process. I agree that you don't get to nuke a marriage, bounce off into a new R and cause this kind of hurt without some hurt to yourself. I once read that any wound caused to another is a wound to self - and that always stayed with me. Whether that wound becomes openly acknowledged and an apology is made, I guess that's a different matter..

Take care 25 - brighter days lie ahead for you once this bumpy road is travelled. Xx