Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

Update:

Saw the lawyer yesterday and she made it clear no legal paperwork could be done about shared custody of the kids outside of a divorce. There is no legal separation in Florida so basically I am stuck with this jerk. We continue to be cordial and sometimes he even acts like a decent human being, he asked how my heart was doing last night. I told him it was fine but had to bite back, "Still broken thanks to you, you @ss." Overall I have irritation at him but not much else. Mostly I feel pain over not being able to give my children my dream, a loving, and strong marriage to raise them in.

I am still very tired in the afternoons after I get off work and the kids appear very understanding. DS4 is especially gentle and keeps lying beside me and putting kisses on my cheeks. I hold them close and tight, I smell their hair and touch their soft skin. Truly I am blessed. Some co-workers know things are stressful in my marriage but are not savvy on the details. Tonight one of them texted me how much they love me and admire me. They also requested I come to the next girl's night out. I felt this warmth in my chest expand and a smile light my face. Life is good in spite of this mountain I continue to climb.