I don' t want to highjack someone else's thread so I will share on here for everyone to see.
The bid D.. I am the one who filed. Ex-H was in heavy replay and I needed security for the future of our children. They were my, (what is the word) motivation, goal, I got to do this right.. by them and for them..
Refusing to have his badge( in my case ) or to have his work license revoked ( in the thread I do not want to highjack) is totally understandable. It could have devastating repercussions on both party' s future. My dear friend feared my Ex at one point. She was scared and I felt awful. I told her to call the cops if she felt uneasy and she refused exactly because of those repercussions. Not for him but for me and the children.
So, with that said, I documented everything. I kept the unstoppable phone messages on USB to show the rapid cycling of love, anger, rage, threats, remorse, love, rinse and repeat.... With everyone involved, ( lawyer, counsellor, friends of mine , police reports, child and family services), ex-h would have lost it all if he would have killed me. Yes, I did fear for my life and so did my counsellor. Thankfully, I did not have to use his own behavior against him.
I wanted to cut all ties ex-H had with me with the exception of the children. My goal has been reached. Our children' s future is all set. Their education is secured and they each have 10K to get them started. The last tie ex-h has with me is his child support which we no longer need yet he refuses to stop. He could very well start an account under their names and deposit his support himself.. NOPE.. I have to do it because he does not trust himself with money.. lol Once I free myself of this last tie, I am hoping to feel a huge weight off my shoulder and a sense of freedom which I have not yet felt.
All emotions aside, my children needed a bright future. a chance to a good education and a roof over their head. If ex-h would agree on this, everything was irrelevant. I am very independent. I did not want him to support me. Keep in mind that I was only 38 years old and healthy. If the divorce would have happened in my 50' s or 60' s, after a 30 or 40 years marriage, my needs would have been different..
What was I protecting with this case I build?? MY MOTHERHOOD!! My home and my children' s future. Anything ex-h would have invented on me to cause me to lose my children would have brought war from deep inside of me. My marriage to him and our 4 children were my pride and joy. Him not wanting to be part of us, I had no control on it but him trying to take them away? I was not going to let it happen.
