I did do something that got a bad result last night though, and it's confusing because it usually gets a positive result. I whispered a naughty idea in H's ear at supper time, and he reacted negatively....said he wasnt in the mood and wasn't going to do anything and that I was taking something good and making it bad....I stayed calm and said "I was just sharing a thought with you, you don't have to do anything"...and he replied "well good, a guy should get one night off .
I didn't know what to think, other than he wasnt in the mood and felt pressured....It's certainly a role reversal from the old days, and I havent learned yet how to predict when he "is" or "isn't " in the mood....the one web site says to "just do it" and see what happens, but I don't want to stir up negative responses or emotions very often if I can avoid it. sigh....it's hard to know what to do...
Later we climbed through tall grass walking and talked about needing to check for ticks, and I told him I'd planned it on purpose so he'd have to take his clothes off and have me run my hands over his body, and he laughed a little....
So, I don't know, maybe it's a matter of timing...I don't particularly expect him to always be ready to "perform", but I guess I kind of see it as a fun part of life between us anymore, and he's not at that point, obviously, if he feels pressured. how ironic..... I don't know, what do I do, back off a little? back off completely for awhile and let him initiate????? One of his BIG complaints around "bomb time" was that I was killing our sex life and never initiated anything and wasnt enthusiastic enough.....now I do and about 1/3 of the time he practically runs the other direction. maybe I should cut back 1/3?????
I don't know how to tell how much is too much before I "make a pass" and he reacts.....maybe trying counts for something anyway? Or does it just make him have more negative feelings of guilt and pressure? ?????
I know he is tired emotionally from work a lot, and has allergies and sinus problems....
bleh, who can figure? I would be really interested in any ideas anyone has.... I'm not even going to think about where OW might fit in the picture....frankly, there isn't much time for them to be together even if they were still seeing each other...
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