I can't thank you enough for the advice. I read these things all throughout this site, but for whatever reason, it helps more when directed at me specifically.
As for DBing, I mainly meant that I am not in pursuit mode anymore (I think...trying to understand cake eating and her maybe trying to get me to peruse again). Not actively contacting her, pushing her in to R conversations, letting her have her space without questioning things she's doing...and have even stopped snooping on my own even though I have the capabilities.
Now I'm just trying to get an active handle on how I should interact with her when I see her (not fall victim to pursuit games while remaining cordial)...and how to live for myself without focusing on her in my head all day.
I have actually started doing things for myself like exercising (lost about 20lbs through this and was not heavy to begin with), hanging out with friends, and teaching myself the piano. It helps a little but it also feels a little empty. I figure if I keep up with it things will get better. Some days are harder than others...
