Ginger, is that a serious question? Is there ever a "legal" basis to "kick her out of the house" in these situations? I can't imagine what such a basis would be, yet that is precisely what Sandi and the other WW gurus on this forum advise. I am assuming the hope is that the WW will elect to leave to avoid any ugliness, but... what if they dont? That is precisely my question. Would obtaining a lawyer (I am actually one myself though I don't do that sort of work) be the way to go? I am ready and willing to take this next step if she won't cut contact, but I want to be fully prepared so I can force the issue if need be.
What, exactly, are my options? (And, also, the continuing questions from my prior post about approaches and options for tonight's follow up conversation. )
It is a dead serious question. I've been on these boards a lot longer than my join date says. I've seen it all.
I am posting to you because I see the most common misunderstandings and reactions coming from you that are common to the jilted spouse. It was common to me too.
Sandi does not advise to kick her out of the house. If she is on that mortgage, you have no legal recourse.
I suggest you really read up on boundaries. Boundaries are something only you can control. You can't MAKE her do anything because you feel what she did is wrong. Even if it is actually dead wrong.
You can't force the issue unless in your state there is a law where if the spouse cheated even though the house is legally theirs you can kick them out.
So what if she says "I'm not going anywhere?" Sure, get a lawyer, but I would study up the law in your state. Your could also tell her to leave the MBR. But if she doesn't, then you need to be prepared to stay or leave because you can't force anything.
Everything you keep stating you want to do might feel good initially, but isn't going to accomplish much.
I keep following up with you, because when you had that get out/no contact convo, you did not have her possible responses planned out and what your boundaries were. You were just dying to get it off your chest.
The point is, think about what happens before you make demands you can't make her do.
