Thank you guys for the encouragement. Every day seems like a battle to get through. It seems that she thinks she is making efforts to fix things because we are separated and working on things while being enrolled in counseling. She is nice when I see her for 10 minutes every couple of days to trade off with the kids. She hugs me and gives me a kiss (peck on the lips) when she leaves. She will occasionally text me to see how my days was. She has explained at times that she feels empty of emotion, and I see the things she is doing as calculated measures to string me along until she is ready to return. It seems a positive thing in one way that she wants to keep up relations. On the other hand, she is my wife of 20 years that we have had a great relationship so a quick hug after a 10 minute conversation just isn't filling the void for me.
Having said that, I am trying to just be her friend and not peruse her at all. I reply to her text, but in a short but friendly way (WAS: How was your day - Me: Good, and yours). I feel like I am doing all the right things, but I still feel terrible inside and cry myself to sleep more times than I care to admit. I will have an up day where I feel like I am on top of things, only to feel really down for 3 days after. The lows are not as low...but it still hurts.
My concern now is that if we are apart and I start to heal, are we going to grow apart to the degree that I won't be interested in fixing things?
