Georgia! Thanks for dropping by! And thanks for the compliment. Lying to myself is how I got into my mess of a marriage, so authenticity is the only way I have to go. I have always been authentic to others, but not my so much myself. I have so many fears, my heart and mind and past experiences confuse the crap out of me. I may be doing everything wrong....... But I am so tired of trying to do everything so right, which usuall blows up in my face!
Don and Wii,
When I say the honeymoon phase is over, I just mean the "wooing" is gone. No matter how stressed he is, I get my good morning text, he stays in touch, we still go on dates, we are affectionate, so on and so forth. He was over the top lovey dovey which I guess I got used to but is gone now. This Sunday I knew he had lots to do, but he took the time out to go on a mini hike with D9 and I and grab some lunch. He was supposed to come over last night but he didn't make it because something big happened wit his work he had to fix. When he gets caught up in his stress he is not neglectful, but maybe more emotionally distant than he usually is which I think is my personal trigger. I get his energies have to be elsewhere, but I don't like the way it feels. I basically told him this morning to do what he has to do this week and I'll see him when I see him. His answer was more of "alright, thank you, and he was with this worker an dhad to go" I hate it, but I get it. We went through this a few weeks back. So I am going to give space.
He is attentive in ways that are different than others have been. He is always in touch, he always confides in me, he calls me often when I can't actually see him. He will always say good morning and good night.
WII, I am trying to distinguish if my anxieties are mine or if they are because I am picking up on things I don't like here. But I am not going to like everything. I am learning how to navigate what makes me feel uncomfortable.
