WW in PA: Threaten to tell kids? Confront OM?

[hoosjim]

Yes, Sandi, thanks. Your insights on WWs have been invaluable to me in understanding what is going on with my own wife, while at the same time admittedly being fairly disheartening. This seems to be such a difficult and painful/painstaking dynamic to overcome under the best of circumstances, and my circumstances are far from "best". In dact, with all the particular overlays in my case the odds seem very, very heavily stacked against me. So very hard... she was my first and only true love. Changed my life when I myself was a selfish, very wayward lifestyle young man. I trust God, but maybe he just has other plans for me than reconciliation with my wife.

Tonight will be both confrontation of OM, my former friend, where I will tell him in what low esteem I hold what he did, how it hurt and is hurting my family, and how it is hurting my wife. I will also let him know that unless and until I have divorce papers in hand i will continue to fight for my marriage and if I can find a way to expose him without hurting my wife, I will, and that he should back off as long as we are still married. And, finally, that he is never ever ever to have anything to do with my sons under ANY scenario, even marriage to my wife. Later, I plan to talk with my wife and give her the "cut contact or get out" ultimatum.

I reall appreciate you checking in on me. I'm kind of on an island here having kept mum about the A in order to protect my wife, so I've been carryin that burden all alone and can use all the support and prayers I can get.