Your definitely good. It hurts knowing that you just got a verbal kick in the ass, but you're good. W has not said anything about a BD in 3 weeks. But hasn't committed to MR either. Both of us got tested after I found out. Both came up clean. And our sex life was suffering in 2016. Mostly due to her nonstop periods throughout the year. They would stop for a day or two and pick up again. It was like this up to a few days prior to going on the cruise.
As for previous A. She admitted when I found out about the OM that she kissed a childhood friend back in during a visit to our home city. This guy has a W and apparently asked and she said yes. It happened at a bar she was with her cousin at and the moment the cousin went the bathroom this guy made the request. W said it was insignificant, so she kept it to herself. Then other one was a week after the cruise. Again while visiting our home city, another childhood who had a crush on her who she turned down back in the day. He invited W to his house, which I had no clue about because she had went to her uncles house to visit. But then left to see this guy(she left that out when I asked how her uncles was doing initially). I found messages with a friend of hers about meeting up with this guy. From the message no sex clearly happened. And when I confronted W, she claimed he asked for a kiss. In her words "she didn't say yes, but didn't say no either." So he kissed her and when he tried to do it a second time, she pulled away. Then left back to her uncles house. To be honest, I believe something more may have happened. But without proof, I let it go.
OM who she is she was having the PA and now EA is the elephant in the room. And the trigger for the BD. There was problems in the MR, but his presence is what pushed her. We both saw a lawyer in December, but no moves have been made by either of us. For someone who wants to leave W has made no moves whatsoever to save money or anything for an apartment. And technically hasn't even mentioned getting an apartment in about a month. Right now its if she is waiting to see how things go with me at the moment. DR suggests not bringing up the R, so I just stay quiet, until W brings it up.
But I agree heavily with in regards to her holding the DB over my head. At first, I felt I didn't have a leg to stand on by making her decide. Because at the time, I would have lost that bet. Now my legs are much stronger and she can see that losing the MR is not a good thing. Figured I could carry on this way for the next 2 or 3 months before pushing for W to decide to leave or stay. But I won't tolerate the blatant disrespect of the OM in the picture, even if its just through messaging. Any further advice would be very much appreciated.
