Nothing you say sounds weird to me. I'm afraid I'm going to feel like i'm cheating, too. I need to find out if that's true. I have some fear of rejection (and even some indications... like I said, I'm positive this date will not lead anywhere).
I'll also say, though I really don't want to admit this, "failure to perform" is a concern. I've been dealing with that for a while now, and NOT anything to do with my marriage. If everything worked right, I'd be pleasantly surprised rather than crushed if it didn't.
Actually, I'm not as sure as I was when I first wrote that. I'm going (well, at least I hope I will eventually) to have to face that test at some point anyway, though, right?
I have one other thought... I'm trying to not be a "nice guy" anymore. I'm trying to have and accept that I can have wants. And I WANT this. I genuinely WANT this for ME.
