I had a little breakdown today. we have argued the past couple of nights. one big one and one little one. I think that I can feel her trying to distance herself from me at times, and at other times her sweet loving self comes back out. We went to church together today, she held my hand tightly, and cuddled a bit with me as well. that was amazing, and her sweet loving self!
I know that I am not supposed to but I asked her about it. She said she is still trying to figure out what she is doing, if she is doing this because she doesn't want to hurt me, or break up the family, or really wants to try to make the marriage work. I told her that I fear my feelings are starting to change as well and I don't like it (me distancing that is) and she said that now I know how she felt for the last several years. As much as it hurt I understand. she has a journey to make and only she can do it. I love her with all of my heart and it hurts to see her that confused, and know that all I can do to help is stay out of the way and cheer from the sidelines. What really [censored] is before the big fight things seemed pretty good! but I found something again that I though was concerning and confronted her about it instead of forgetting it again. I also did another sin in the next fight, I told her what I thought she was feeling/doing.....
