Quote: H was standing in driveway as we pulled in, said he just got back from his walk, was going to get gas and did I want to ride along with him. I noticed his cell phone was in his pocket...he must talk w/OW a lot while he walks, which explains why he doesnt often want me to walk with him. that never dawned on me before.
he's gonna do what he's gonna do. it's your job to stob obsessing on it. go back an reread the "considering" thread.
Quote: -- let it go, I've said I was sorry 2x, and mentioning it more will just irritate and remind him more.... -- absolutely refrain (somehow) to ANY reference to OW what so ever....It really sets him off...."what works" is obviously not saying anything...we do much better and get much further when I act "as if" the situation doesnt exist.
yes if you said it twice, he heard you. yes agreed this is a form of "do what works - stopping doing what doesnt". If he's doing something, you're making him feel guilty rather than wanting to stop. if he isnt, you keep reminding him of when he was. stop it.
Quote: One huge question in my mind that causes me trouble is "if he really is not seeing OW, why doesnt he make an effort to reassure me"? I dont know what to think there, other than in the "reconnection" post I copied, it says they will "test you as they never have before to see how you will respond to them and what they have done"....maybe that's it.
again it's crazymaking trying to second guess. did you ASK him for reassurances? If so, ok. If not, maybe you should OCCASIONALLY. Do it too much and you're needy, but once in a while is ok.
smack smack 2x4 - man this thing's been getting a workout today, frst myr then you.
I think I'm due for another myself...
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
