I'm sorry to say but you still sound in redouble controlling to me. You've just redirected it from "pulling" to "pushing". I'm not sure that's any better.
Also, a boundary is around you. It is about YOUR behavior. You say that you laid out a boundary for her - that's controlling, not a boundary. For example, you can say: "I'm not interested in having a marriage relationship where you are texting inappropriately with another man." It's her choice to do it, but you've made it clear what YOU are going to do. So she had an A. You set a "boundary" for each other. She crossed it. And now what? You're just moving the fences around to accommodate her. I'm not saying you should do anything. I think you need to read a LOT more before making major boundaries. Remember - a weak boundary is worse than no boundary.
Last thing for now. Read read read about detachment. It isn't about being cold or ignoring her. It isn't something you talk about with her. It's not being physically distant. It's about taking control of your emotions. It's about learning how to not be "weak" as you say it. There are some great resources here. Before you make any grand claims, start reading them.
