Dealing with Devastation

[giftd]

Okay, so texted today asking if when I can call because I had to ask her about taking care of the pets on Friday. She called after work and we talked for about 20 minutes.

Kept things light at first and we joked a bit. She asked me to be careful while in Vegas. Said she'd probably be able to do Friday ad she'd take care of it if she couldn't (friend come check on them).

I asked if I could call on the way home from visiting my family tomorrow (it's a 3 hour drive), she said "I'm gonna say no". I asked if I could know why. "I don't want to fall into old habits". Then I asked what the habits were. "I don't want to have expectations and then if someone doesn't call the other gets mad". She then continued; "I thought we set up this last time?". I said no, I wrote down the boundaries, but she said I hadn't been calling when talking about how she felt. She said "I mean when I said you could call once a week, unless there's something funny or important I guess".

I let it go at that point, I want her to respect my boundaries with the house and our things so I know I should respect hers. I am still getting permission for contact at least once a week which means more chances to show progress. However I find myself wondering if this is her setting permanent boundaries or if this is her needing more time to work on herself under the current situation? She also said that she is working on self care (she didn't use those words) with her going to bed at a certain time and shutting her phone off while sleeping.