Lurker ready to ask for help with WW/WAW sitch!

[RunRec]

Yes it was difficult pushing her that direction for that exact reason. My counselor actually made a point of it to really emphasize how supportive I'm being and how selfless it is for me to truly want her to be happy even if it makes me very uncomfortable. He was saying how even in happy long term marriages, not every husband is truly supportive of a wife's individuality. It's a love deposit for sure.

I was def a monster when I was drinking. I'm sure that, even if she won't admit it now, she's scared I'll turn back to that person in the future and she won't be able to take it. I just need to keep up with my 180s, my GAL, and just give it time. My actions are what's going to get her to maybe come around.

She has ZERO hope in the marriage in her words. Every time we are in counseling she says "I still feel the same." However, the fact that she's even going to counseling and talking about how much it's helping and the fact that she's open to adding secondary marriage ministry help are actions that seem to me that she may have a bit more hope than she is letting on. I don't want to mind read or set expectations, but as long as she's still going there is hope.

I have another issue I could really use help with. Our dog is going to die, in the next couple days. She got sick right before my wife left for her trip, and was hospitalized the day she left. I just picked her up and they told me at this point we're just going to give her medicine to keep her comfortable until Monday and we will likely have to put her down. This dog has been our dog for almost our entire marriage, and we are both EXTREMELY attached to her. I was crying my eyes out on the drive home. What I need advice on is how to handle this with my marriage sitch.

I'm over emotional and during the time she fell out of love with me I was a big crying baby, constantly throwing pity parties and guilt tripping her and everyone around me. Through the first 3/4 of the time after D-day I would continually break down balling and beg her and try and make her feel sorry for me. One of my major goals with this 180 is to become a stronger person. I'm not ashamed of being sad, but I need to be strong for her and my kids. I can cry when I'm alone. So I'm considering not being there when they put her to sleep, because I can guarantee you I will not be able to hold back from breaking down. Also, I need advice on how to handle my W with this. She knows how much my dog means to me, she's going to know that I'm devastated. I don't know if I should just tell her I need to deal with the grief on my own, or if I should be with her and grieve with her. She cares about me, so to a certain extent I'm sure she'll feel obligated to comfort me but I don't expect her to want to hug me or hold my hand or anything like that and if she doesn't want to I certainly don't want her to feel obligated to, and then do it with a negative deposit in the love bank.

I'm confused on my best course of action here.