Hello, my sweet friend. Sorry again that we couldnt meet today. Long story.
Anyway, I just read about what happened with FF. You know, G, how I feel about feelings...you feel as you do and none of them are invalid.
Yours got hurt. Knowing who you are and how you love, I get it completely. Whether or not he meant to hurt them, and I dont think he did, doesnt cushion the feelings.
I think that he views you meeting his parents as a very big thiFor yong and he got spooked a bit. Doesnt mean he doesnt care about you, but, just as you have triggers regarding holidays, he seems to have some regarding relationships.
I still think that you were right in telling him how you felt. As I said, they are your feelings and they matter.
I had to have a tough conversation the other day with R. For us, that stuff is difficult. You and I for different reasons in how we grew up, dont always think our feelings should matter. We worry about the other person before we think of us.
So, you told him. He told you how he felt. I dont think this should be a deal breaker in any way. I think you were given a small gift. Knowledge of where he is at and so you can adjust accordingly.
I dont mean punish him for how he felt. Nor do I mean that you have to roll back your feelings for him. I do mean that you need to think about taking it slower in terms of things like meeting parents, etc.
Doesnt mean he no longer cares. Doesnt mean you arent worthy of his feelings, G...you know you are. It just means that his feelings are also valid. And I guess in his mind, while you two were getting really close, that step was too big to take at this time.
As far as your girl, stop beating yourself up. You are a wonderful mother who would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. I think it is important for her to see that there are people who want to be with you and who treat you with respect.
If by chance it doesnt work out, you will explain to her in your wonderful, honest way and she will be ok as long as you are.
By the way, those triggers succk, right?One of the ways I have in dealing with them is to do something different when I am confronted with one of them.
Could you do something different around Easter next year? Make it a happy time the day before? Plan to go out?
As far as your ex...he is an a$$ to the thousandth degree. I know what it's like to have a parent always put you down. She sees who he is, G, and she is so smart. And she has you....
I am always rooting you on and praying for you...I also know, without a single doubt, that you will be ok. You are an amazing woman..who is not afraid to look within. That takes true strength. Don't ever forget that.
Enjoy life's stuff, G. The little things...the important things. Try not to get ahead of yourself too much.
