25 yearsMLC 10 years late I FILE part 2

[AJM]

Exquisite is right. You're building a case. And your H will help with that. I'm surprised the judge allowed you to be married and yet your h is allowed to cut you off from the marital assets. That's a little odd and maybe something else to talk with the L's about. Perhaps something until the divorce is finalized, even if he's ignoring the court orders. That ignoring the orders will eventually catch up to him.

That's what I mean when I say to let that fish run. Keep the pressure on, but don't get nasty about it. Fair and balanced. Since it's a negotiation, you may want to reach a little further than you think you'll be able to reasonably do long term. Freezing his assets doesn't sound unreasonable if it's a possibility. Collections are always a problem in civil cases. I think you're aware.

He says he's happy? Really? Seems par for the course, right? I mean, he's saying what a wonderful person he has been. How he's endured you for 35 years while you sat back and enjoyed the spoils of his hard work (I say that sarcastically even if it's hard to see in the writing.) He may feel 'Happy' now that things are out in the open. A relief of sorts that he's 'free' in his mind. He's not, but that's another matter. My ex did similar. In my case I made it so she would have to file. Why? Because of the kids and because I knew how impatient she was, although I didn't know exactly why. I don't know that I'll ever really know the why in my case. I don't really care to at this point. It's been a lot of years and I've gained the perspective to really see what was happening and the timelines.

In my case, she was the type that would have likely brought violence to 'solve her problem' if she could have met the right people. She once tried to have me beat up by one of her friends if that's any indication I'm a little smarter than that. He and I are acquaintances now and occasionally drink together. She was infuriated by that

That's the mindset, 25. They have to get away so badly, that facts and history are not really relevant. It's one reason I think they forget what they did or said. It was a lie to themselves at the time, so why remember it?

Did your wife ever express to anyone, some regret?

I think there's a very good chance that h will go to his grave shaking his fist at me for "stealing his money" and whatever else he's mad at me for, then...

You can't guess the future but I hear you. No, my ex never expressed remorse. She did once say that 'she never said she never loved me' for the 20 years. Very vehement about that. She also went out of her way to tell me she's glad she had the affair etc. when I wouldn't give her what she wanted. She'll likely be shaking her fist at me when she dies as well. Or she'll forget altogether. I can't see the future either, so I really don't know. But it seems a reasonable guess at this point.

My kids are grown now. One about to graduate college and one in the middle of college. I have no reason nor desire to talk to her at this point and have not for a long time. It's why I no longer spend much time on the boards. I knew you back from some others that I keep in touch with, and came back to listen and offer some insights I'm familiar with in the hope of being helpful.

Sorry to hear about the seizures, 25, but glad you're doing better. I'm surprised you don't have his medical license reviewed for getting you to sign papers in that state of mind. That's the most unethical thing he could have done at this point, professionally. My ex is a doctor as well (dentist really) and believe me, I would have pulled that card if the situation were available. I was an email away from filing harassment charges against her and OM. I'm kind of lazy about doing that, although I was advised several times to do it. I kept the emails though - just in case. I live on the east coast in a state with CCA laws and don't want to get caught up in ex drama over it. So I'm very cautious and learned throughout to keep careful notes and document the behavior. That, and it was amusing to see some of the stuff in her state of mind

Oh. She did go out of her way to vilify me to her family and my kids. My daughter bought into it and won't talk to me except to ask for money or tell me what a bad father I am. I am saddened by that but I did work hard to reconnect the kids with their mother; I can't stand the thought of my kids growing up without a mother that cares for them. Or at least acts like she does. But most people haven't bought into it, including my son and ex's family and friends, etc. They see the BS. Yours will as well.

Peace,
AJM