This is definitely a tough one. New hear myself, but at least you know that she still cares about you. Love never really goes away, it just get buried as partner running away loses hope. Tough part is that you have to come off as a better option than the OM. I know they say the OM isn't important and you shouldn't focus on him. But I'm curious to the type of person your W had an A with. From I've noticed WW have a habit of choosing OM who are worse than the spouse their leaving. So don't think that have nothing chance due to your past.
I also stumbled onto Dr. Ito before coming here. His explanation on how why the WW exist is very similar to Sandi explanation. And I also agree with the method of earning back the W trust. That method had me set up perfectly for when I stumbled upon the DB method. I can tell you now that yout W isn't given up her hobby for you. It s provably when she feels the most free. So if you make that demand your going to get your feelings hurt.
You should GAL and do a 180. But uour going to habe to be around somewhat to form a basic friendship, so she can at least learn to like you again. To her you may be the monster she wants to run away from. So go ahead and watch a few shows with her. Just don't dedicate all your time to doing so. Option 4 is your best option. If something happens between her and the coach, then you may just habe to accept it. Or consider that uour breaking point to just getting a BD. Keeping them apart is impossible, especially with the current state of your marriage. Coach is connected to what she deems her safe place. Hope this advice helps.
