I also suggest that you purposely surround yourself with good things, as much as possible. Good music, good books, good food, good fun, good folks, etc. Avoid as much negativity as possible. I have always believed that we women need connection with other women. We need good female friends. However, it needs to be with those who have positive energy.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
She doesn't need to engage. Validate what may have merit but there is no point in arguing. H doesn't need her approval to end the M, and she doesn't need to agree with his truth. Just drop the rope.
It's been a tough 48 hours in Gal522's world. H has our kids while I'm traveling for work. Had to have some tough convos with H about kids--I requested pics of kids not be shared on his social media because we have too many stranger's approaching us while we're out. It ended simply with "okay"--he says he just wants peace and positivity and I agree. I thanked him for observing my request. Coincidentally, H will be speaking at the conference I'm attending in a few days. I'm truly dreading seeing him. When I have no contact, I find it's easier to put one foot in front of the other. When we have any interaction I find myself getting emotional, reflecting too much. I need to detach.
A little update on my sitch. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and self-healing. Today I've decided to file for D. During the quest to find my authentic self I realized that my codependency prolonged the M and that a R with H was so incredibly unhealthy. I'm ready to move forward and not look back.
H has been surprisingly cooperative as of late, it's a side of him I haven't seen in a while. When he's kind and understanding I see glimpses of the man I married, feels like a 180. I feel confused. No talk of R just conversation about division of the business we share and kids.
Lots of 180s, actually. I just don't understand, why now. I'm not suggesting I'm ungrateful but why, when we are moving forward with going our separate ways is he being the man I was asking for years ago.
