Thought I would update/journal a bit as I have a bit of time this morning.
So I will start off with ... I have become aware that when you have been involved in this MLC mess for awhile things you once would update/post become a bit more insignificant, similar to traffic signs on the street that you drive home on everyday, you see them, notice but really pay no mind. One such 'sign' if you will happened about 3 weeks ago, I picked up S and she made up a reason to ask me a trivial question about S's school/schedule which she gets emailed just as I do. Given the epic memory failure I did not pay it much attention however what did stand out was the eye contact and the 'Hello'. The contact has been as NC as one could be ... she usually is not even visible when I collect S for the past year since I moved out back in Feb16.
I have noticed the weekends she has S they have been up at her parents place .. a solid 2-3 hour drive which S complains its to long in the car (boredom hits hard on those car trips from my memories as a kid ... lol) I am not reading into it nor looking at this as a re-connection attempt with her family or anything but it is something different.
So this morning I get a call from her asking if its a good time to talk. She tells me she thinks S needs therapy ( This happens once every 4-6 months it seems) I asked why she felt he needed that (He is generally fine with me) and her reply was he was not himself and has been sad. I knew he was a bit upset as I dropped him off yesterday morning as this is the part of the 2 week cycle where I do not see him till Monday after school. During this crisis he and I have admittedly become very very close and GAL like no other on our weekends/days together.
So I did my best to drink the STFU smoothie as she projected her crap as his issues ... S wants a bigger house and all that comes with it .. family etc, he needs to see us communicate in a cordial matter and all the things she had to say. 17 minutes in all and she got a little emotional as she said "I don't want him to grow up and be a wreck" ... all of which I remained calm and did not bite at her attempts to start an argument so ended the call and she asked to speak on Sunday ... not completely sure why as we had settled things as far as I was concerned but this is MLC talk so I am assuming that call on Sunday will not happen.
So thats about the most contact I have had with her in sometime and I imagine she will run about her tunnels and pop out a bit later. Was a bit ironic as I have been in a deep reflection mode this week ... Tuesday watched the sunset after a bike ride, and again last night at the ball field I had the thoughts of ... 'Ya know I would not have wished this ever in my life but I am actually in a much better/healthier place .. life is very very good at the moment'
This leads me to the next part of where I am in my own journey ... I was watching a movie and towards the end there was a funeral .... the Pastor said we all get 2 dates on our headstone. The birthdate, and the date of our death. Those 2 numbers are of little significance, what really matters is that dash between them. Make that dash count. This really has been on my mind for like a month ... I am frequently asking myself "Am I making that dash count?" and there are alot of my days I can honestly say I am .. I am living .. really living and enjoying life and the crazy thing is, the only person I share it with is my son and I am at peace with that.
Make your dash count ... do not let their crisis wreck YOUR dash.
