One thing in the study that seemed clear: children need their parents to be mature when delivering such painful news. But, parents find accepting responsibility hard to do so, particularly early in the divorce process. Moms and dads feel their hopes lost and dreams gone, and they often avoid reminding themselves of such sorrow. But, when parents bring all the family together, the children benefit from a united message delivered by both parents-children feel less disturbed when parents exhibit this kind of maturity. The research tells us that children prefer a message that avoids parents blaming each other-instead hoping both parents will take ownership of the marriage ending. Doing so can protect children from feeling a) that they caused the divorce or b) that they must align with one parent and reject the other.
