WW in PA: Threaten to tell kids? Confront OM?

[hoosjim]

Well, today's the day. Going to make my first attempt since discovering the affair to have a man-to-man, face-to-face talk with the OM (my former friend). I am leveled, centered, and icy-cool. Hopefully he be where he usually is on Friday afternoons and I can put this bogeyman to rest. It will be a big load off my mind and I am hoping it catapults me forward and maybe, just maybe, kick starts some movement resolving my marital problems (which have stagnated) one way or the other.

Also, still interested in any input anyone has on what/how to tell the kids once I have the "cut contact or get out" talk with my wife. Sandi had some potentially helpful insights, above, but I was wondering if she had or anyone else had any additional thoughts based on the additional color I provided yesterday (what is now at the top of page 5 of this thread).

Thanks all! Being on this forum really helps!