Last night I noticed that my W mentioned the OM. Had no idea what it was about. But it amazes me the obsession with some other W husband. When all they had was sex a few times on a cruise ship. And everything after that has been conversation via FB messenger and text. The OM hasn't even bought my W a drink and she can't seem to stay away. I'm so bad, but now she's chasing after married 'Serial Cheater' who never been able to stay faithful to his own W. Not seeing how she can view this as an improvement or some kind of hard decision to make.
Ive never really done drugs, so take what Im about to say with a grain of salt.
But I kind of think of affairs like starting on some type of illegal drug. You know going in that its bad for you and that youll only wind up in trouble. Youve seen the "Intervention" shows and read the stories. But someone gets you to try it once and then you are hooked.
This isnt a logical decision of you vs him. This is a decision of who makes her 'feel good' and the logic is out the window.
My advice is to stop comparing yourself to 'prove' you are the better choice. Instead, just BE the better choice.
I forget where I saw it, but someone on the MLC board just recently posted that they spoke to a couple of women who were the "OW" to some married men. They described it to her as just that...a type of high. They knew it was wrong, but they were hooked on the feeling that it gave them...I guess some type of rushes are irresistible.
In my case, my W is from a very addicted family...ranging from drugs to alcohol. She has never indulged in any of those things, but I can now see addictive tendencies in her with this OM and her extreme desire to move on with either him or whatever. This will never make sense to any of us that are thinking normal.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!