That is a great description and thank you for that. Yes, a lot of similarities. There are many hard parts to all of this but one right now that stands out is that about every other day she will do/say something that gives that slim bit of hope that things could work out and then next day she is back asking if I have talked to the attorney? I am in the exact same boat right now...not initiating conversations but certainly open to them and being calm, respectful. The other way didn't work and now I am trying this way. At the end of the day with our son being 12 years old, our house being the nucleus of the neighborhood one would think that she would want to try again for the sake of that. Maybe a woman's head doesn't work that way.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
LH19 -that is EXACTLY what I have been doing last week and a half. Haven't seen any major changes (certainly not breaking off of affair) but time will tell. You are right and thank you.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
That is a great description and thank you for that. Yes, a lot of similarities. There are many hard parts to all of this but one right now that stands out is that about every other day she will do/say something that gives that slim bit of hope that things could work out and then next day she is back asking if I have talked to the attorney? I am in the exact same boat right now...not initiating conversations but certainly open to them and being calm, respectful. The other way didn't work and now I am trying this way. At the end of the day with our son being 12 years old, our house being the nucleus of the neighborhood one would think that she would want to try again for the sake of that. Maybe a woman's head doesn't work that way.
That does sound tough if she's ambivalent. Many people on here will say to only believe her actions not her words. So I would be careful about hanging on to what she actually tells you verbally. If she wants to work on the M then you should wait for what she actually does to take steps towards you. Be patient.
In my case I just watch my wife take more and more steps away from me in her actions.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
Someone said..."She will let you know if she wants to work on the marriage"...are you sure of this or potentially she is waiting on me to take initiative? Just a thought.
She's in an affair. She might want you to be the man she always wanted, but it's not going to improve your relationship.
If you don't accept the fact that this is a marathon and not a sprint IMO you are going to make things worse and may never get a chance at reconciliation.
I have accepted it's a marathon. That's the tough part. Thanks All.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
Ok, I have a hypothetical (albeit wishful). What would you guys do if my wife that has been dating OM for now almost 4 months called me one day and she was really upset that her and OM broke it off? Be nice and offer to come over to console her, say nothing, act disinterested, etc... As many of you we hope this day will one day come. Please advise!!
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
and would it matter if she broke it off with him or he broke it off with her?
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
Ok, I have a hypothetical (albeit wishful). What would you guys do if my wife that has been dating OM for now almost 4 months called me one day and she was really upset that her and OM broke it off? Be nice and offer to come over to console her, say nothing, act disinterested, etc... As many of you we hope this day will one day come. Please advise!!
As you read and learn more and more - you will find out that their is a script for this. When the other person is no more they tend to go into other person depression/withdrawal. Your mission is to not become the next OM as that will be rescuing/enabling. You want her to face her issues and pursue you. Not you pursuing her. If you just become OM#2 then that is a relationship that is likely to FAIL also. You want your marriage to succeed. Right?
