3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road

[resolut]

We're not separated. She lives in my home and sleeps in my sons bedroom. He is away at college. He comes home in a couple of weeks so things will get interesting then.

According to her the marriage is over. She no longer wears her wedding ring. The PA has been going on since January as best I can tell and the EA since December. She wants a divorce. I tell her its not what I want but I love her and respect her enough to let her go.

There are no signs of the A ending right now. I don't pay any attention to her phone or where she goes. Her tone is so-so. I think a good bar to set is to treat your spouse like you would having a friend as a house guest. That's how I treat her. She does about the same, mostly.

She doesn't want to talk about the marriage at all so we don't. I tried doing this a lot more in the early weeks but I've since stopped because it is a waste of time. Once you find yourself repeating old conversations and explaining yourself in different ways you come to realize its a waste of time. Also, she would always just find ways to hurt me in those conversations. It was abusive to me.

If she wants to talk about something she will come to me I'm sure of it. Right now she's put up a wall between us. I would certainly welcome talking to her even if it is to discuss moving to mediate our divorce.

Right now I am just resolute in my waiting. Like I said in another thread, I would be happier if the A will end and we move to MC and then end the marriage. Going into D now while the A is active is a terrible fate IMO.